Wondering...

I find myself at a stage in my life where I'm constantly wondering....
Am I a good mother?
Am I a good wife?
Am I a good friend?
Am I doing enough for the environment?
Am I smart enough?
Do I have any goals, or ambitions?
When I meet new people, do they like me?
The friends I allready have, do they really like me?

Is all this wondering part of my age, my current life situations, is it normal, am I too self critical? Why did I get to 34 without ever knowing what my true dream is? Why do I underestimate my potential? Hmmmm..... wondering!

Sometimes I sit back & say, okay; figure it out. You have this amazing husband, two gorgeous, intelligent sons, you live in a great community, you're as green & eco-friendly as you can possibly be, you're meeting new moms, but you still have days where you'd rather sit on the couch & watch t.v., so that's okay, have those days, but on the rest, get out there, be you, find out who you are now, you used to know, so get to know the new you, the married mother of two you!!

I would love to go back to school, get my college degree!! I will eventually; right now, we just can't afford it & that's the simple truth of that. I would love, love to own a breakfast spot down by the water, that would be a dream come true! Would I get rich? NO! but this is the type of thing that would make me happy, it would be mine, I don't want to work for other people, I don't want to push papers, been there, done all of that! My life cooking for my family & friends is home to me, happiness to me, so maybe that's it, now to find a way to magically make enough money to open my own spot with no experience whatsoever!! Ha! Easy, right?

Like I tell my boys, if you can think it, you can dream it, if you can dream it (you have to see the dreams), you can make it real! I always tell my oldest, please don't say you can't, especially before you try, you always have to try and then you'll realize that you can.

So, wondering..... lots of wondering....